Patrick Obrien

THANKS TO ALL WHO VISIT AND LEAVE SPECIAL WORDING, PICTURES AND GIFTS WE REALLY APPRECIATE IT.



Ever since he was a little boy Patrick was always getting into mischief, and then came the teenage years and he became a typical teenager. Soon after Patricks 17th birthday he became very withdrawn and paranoid it was then he told us that he felt very depressed and suicidal. He was taken to his own doctor who made arrangements for Patrick to see a councillor. After his initial appointment with the councillor, he was told he would have to go on a waiting list for another session, unfortunately unbeknown to us all this was to be his last.

On the evening of August 29th 2005, Patrick could take no more and took his own life. Patrick left behind his mum Caitlin, sister Lauren aged 7, his granny, granda, aunts, uncles and cousins and more friends than we even knew he had. Sadly 3 days after Patrick died the letter with his appointment came.

After his death our family joined a suicide awareness group in west Belfast, set up by people like ourselves, who are bereaved through suicide. Without the support of our family and this group we dont know how we would have coped with Patricks death and now we get some comfort knowing that within our support group we have prevented many other deaths.

Patrick will always be in our hearts and thoughts forever and will never be forgotten. Party hard with the other angels Patrick, forever young xox.

No matter how much help and support we get we are always left with one question and thats WHY??? but we guess that will never be answered.

If there is anyone who reads this site or knows anyone who feels suicidal please visit this site below or tell your family and friends, dont try to work through it on your own.

www.suicideawarenessandsupportgroup.com

Statement below from suicide awareness and support group website


If you are thinking about Suicide… read this first


If you are feeling suicidal now, please stop long enough to read this. It will only take about five minutes. I do not want to talk you out of your bad feelings. I am not a therapist or other mental health professional – only someone who knows what it is like to be in pain.

I don’t know who you are or why you are reading this page. I only know that for the moment, you are reading it, and that is good. I can assume that you are here because you are troubled and considering ending your life. If it were possible, I would prefer to be there with you at this moment, to sit with you and talk, face to face and heart to heart. But since that is not possible, we will have to make do with this.

I have known a lot of people who have wanted to kill themselves, so I have some idea of what you might be feeling. I know that you might not be up to reading a long book, so I am going to keep this short. While we are together here for the next five minutes, I have five simple, practical things I would like to share with you. I won’t argue with you about whether you should kill yourself. But I assume that if you are thinking about it, you feel pretty bad.

Well, you’re still reading, and that’s very good. I’d like to ask you to stay with me for the rest of this page. I hope that means that you’re at least a tiny bit unsure, somewhere deep inside, about whether or not you really will end your life. Often people feel that, even in the deepest darkness of despair. Being unsure about dying is okay and normal. The fact that you are still alive at this minute means that you are still a little bit unsure. It means that even while you want to die, at the same time some part of you still wants to live. So let’s hang on to that, and keep going for a few more minutes.

Start by considering this statement:

“Suicide is not chosen, it happens when pain exceeds resources for coping with pain.”

That’s all it’s about. You are not a bad person, or crazy, or weak, or flawed, because you feel suicidal. It doesn’t even mean that you really want to die – it only means that you have more pain than you can cope with right now. If I start piling weights on your shoulders, you will eventually collapse if I add enough weights… no matter how much you want to remain standing. (That’s why it’s useless for someone to say to you, “cheer up!” – of course you would, if you could.)

Don’t accept it if someone tells you, “that’s not enough to be suicidal about.” There are many kinds of pain that may lead to suicide. Whether or not the pain is bearable may differ from person to person. What might be bearable to someone else, may not be bearable to you. The point at which the pain becomes unbearable depends on what kinds of coping resources you have. Individuals vary greatly in their capacity to withstand pain.

When pain exceeds pain-coping resources, suicidal feelings are the result. Suicide is neither wrong nor right, it is not a defect of character, it is morally neutral. It is simply an imbalance of pain versus coping resources.

You can survive suicidal feelings if you do either of two things: (1) find a way to reduce your pain, or (2) find a way to increase your coping resources. Both are possible.

Now I want to tell you five things to think about.

1 The first thing you need to hear is that people do get through this – Even people who feel
as badly as you are feeling right now. Statistically, there is a very good chance that you are
going to live.
I hope that this information gives you some sense of hope.

2 The next thing that I want to suggest to you is to give yourself some distance. Say to yourself, “I will wait 24 hours before I do anything.” Or a week. Remember that feeling and actions are two different things – just because you feel like killing yourself, doesn’t mean that you have to actually do it right this minute. Put some distance between your suicidal feelings and suicidal action. Even if it’s just 24 hours. You have already done it for 5 minutes, just by reading this page. You can do it for another 5 minutes by continuing to read this page. Keep going, and realize that while you still feel suicidal, you are not, at this moment, acting on it. That is very encouraging to me, and I hope it is to you.

3 The third thing is this: people often turn to suicide because they are seeking relief from pain. Remember that relief is a feeling. And you have to be alive to feel it. You will not feel the relief you so desperately seek, if you are dead.

4 The fourth thing is this: some people will react badly to your suicidal feelings, either because they are frightened, or angry, they may actually increase your pain instead of helping you, despite their intensions, by saying or doing thoughtless things. You have to understand that their bad reactions are about their fears, not about you.


But there are people out there who can be with you in this horrible time, and will not judge you, or argue with you, or send you to a hospital, or try to talk you out of how badly you feel. They will simply care for you. Find one of them. Now. Use your 24 hours, or your week, and tell someone what’s going on with you. It is okay to ask for help. Try The Samaritans by phone or e-mail worldwide, or look in the front of your phonebook for a crisis line, call a psychotherapist, carefully choose a friend or a minister or priest, someone who is likely to listen. But don’t give yourself the additional burden of trying to deal with this alone. Just talking about how you got to where you are, releases an awful lot of pressure, and it might be just the additional coping resource you need to regain your balance.


5 The last thing I want you to know right now is this: Suicidal feelings are, in and of themselves, traumatic. After they subside, you need to continue caring for yourself. Therapy is a really good idea. So are the various self-help groups available both in your community and on the Internet and various online services.


Well it’s been a few minutes and you’re still with me. I’m really glad.

Since you have made it this far, you deserve a reward. I think you should reward yourself by giving yourself a gift. The gift you will give yourself is a coping resource. Remember, back up near the top of the page, I said that the idea is to make sure you have more coping resources than you have pain. So let’s give you another coping resource, or two, or ten…! Until they outnumber your sources of pain.

Now, while this page may have given you some small relief, the best coping resource we can give you is another human being to talk with. If you find someone who wants to listen, and tell them how you are feeling and how you got to this point, you will have increased your coping resources by one. Hopefully the first person you choose won’t be the last. There are a lot of people out there who really want to hear from you. It’s time to start looking around for one of them.

Now: I’d like you to call someone.